I Have Questions

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I recently learned about the Buddhist teaching “See the Glass as Already Broken”. This concept is about recognizing that everything has a beginning and an end, and  remembering this can help you appreciate what you have in the moment (whether it’s a glass, car, phone, or a sweatshirt) and feel less pain and more acceptance once it’s gone. Life is in a constant state of change- everything will crumble, it’s just a matter of when. This got me thinking about relationships. If we accepted that ours would inevitably end (and I’m not talking when death-does-us-part), wouldn’t we approach it differently? Wouldn’t we enjoy every moment a little more, and dwell on issues a little less? Wouldn’t each other’s flaws seem far more trivial? Would our relationship last longer the moment we stop telling it it has to?
Forgive my Carrie Bradshaw moment here, but when it comes to romantic relationships- is the promise of forever what ultimately tears us apart? 

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 Let’s talk about this- I want to hear your thoughts! 

PS- a mind boggling article about love
if you’re really feeling it this morning.
[Images top, bottom, right]

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Plastics. 

As I’ve mentioned before, I keep notes in my phone of things that inspire me. Sometimes it’s an idea, a quote, a song lyric, something bizarre I overhear in someone’s conversation or a half sentence that I think would sound good in a book. And sometimes I come across one so vague and without context that it makes me burst out laughing in a coffee shop 5 months later:

Screen Shot 2015-10-22 at 8.34.53 PMANYWHO, I wanted to create a post featuring a couple of the quotes I’ve collected because they’re too good to keep locked away in my marbled iPhone.

“You and me is a place I hope we travel to one day.”
Nick Miller 

“Inspiration owes you absolutely nothing, other than the pleasure of its company.”
-Elizabeth Gilbert

“You have to be in love when you don’t feel any particular tenderness, when bills are late or the trash hasn’t been emptied or you’re feeling underappreciated or when the ugly monsters from your past have convinced you that what happened then — whatever heartbreak exists in your memory — is here and real and will happen again.”
Jamie Varon

“How much of the suffering and anguish and white-knuckling that you’re doing in your life right now has to be there?”
-Elizabeth Gilbert

“It’s so hard to write sometimes, I’m afraid of what I’ll read.”
-Lady Gaga

“When you’re the most happening person at the party, it’s time to leave.”👋
-Kelly Cutrone

[images via: top left, top right, bottom left, bottom right]

Embrace The Point of No Return

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As I write this I am in a coffee shop and the man next to me is reading a book called Reaching the Animal Mind… out loud. I live for bizarre moments like this. I have been inspired to write so many times over the last couple of months but all I’ve wound up with is a folder full of drafts and a very tired mind. That being said, tonight I’ve rounded up a teeny collection of thoughts:

On the magic of bodies: Yesterday I was sipping a Bailey’s and coffee while surfing through photos from the summer and came across one I took of myself in my bathing suit. I took it because… I felt really, truly, terribly fat that day. At the time I was curious if I saved that photo and looked at it again in 20 years, would think I was crazy and be able to see myself more clearly? But here I am, just two months later, wondering what on earth I was so worried about. I do not look fat in it. I guess my point in sharing this embarrassing flaw in my confidence is to remind you that insecurity and crippling self-doubt is natural, but might be totally based on something make-believe. (Side note, the man from above^ just took off his shoe and smelled it)

On everyone else’s fleeting love: Lately I’ve been feeling a bit surrounded by crumbling relationships. I come from a long line of divorces in my family, and yet have never become jaded by it. If the phrase “hopeless romantic”didn’t make me feel like a dorky 13 year old I might add it here to describe myself, but I’m not going to so you’ll have to use your imagination. Since Tim moved to Vancouver in the middle of August we’ve spent a ton of time apart and some days it’s hard for both of us not to want to chuck our iPhones out a window and ask “What the f are we doing?!” all the while wondering if everyone else has it better- but I’ve yet to stop believing that we’re the lucky ones.

On being an introvert often mistaken for an extrovert: I get my energy from my alone time. I’m exhausted by small talk, big crowds, long nights with unfamiliar faces and public speaking- though I’m good at it. I can often be found belly laughing or “putting myself out there” on various internet spaces but the truth is I’m an introvert with a million things going on in my mind at once. I love to create, but praise embarrasses me. A month ago someone literally started reading one of my blog posts out loud and I nearly imploded. “Isn’t that why you write? For it to be read?!” they asked. “Absolutely,” I said. “But in your head and no where near me.”

On the best advice I’ve heard this month: Life is scary. Find your boo.👻


[images via: left, top, bottom]

Copper Cruisin’ Onwards

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Top Left: This photo reminds me so much of one that’s stuck up on our fridge at home. It’s of me when I was 5, in orange pants and a colourful sweater holding our black cat like Rafiki held Simba over pride rock. I’ve been feeling nostalgic lately. Nostalgic for the good, but oddly enough, nostalgic for the bad. Not that I’m sentimentally remembering feelings of misery, but my brain has been living in the past a little- from childhood memories that make my heart ache to reliving the happy times in friendships that have imploded. As always when I touch on negativity here, I feel the urge to apologize for it, minimize it and top it with colourful sprinkles of ‘but here’s the good news!’  But aren’t some of the greatest bits of writing a little bit miserable? I’m intentionally reading The Fault in our Stars knowing it’s going to rip out my heart by the last page. Negativity shouldn’t always be muted. As my boy Ernest Hemingway said, “Write hard and clear about what hurts.” Okay Ernest, I will. But only sometimes.

Top Right: I’m imagining presenting a bouquet of these pom-pom branches for the host of the party at every occasion. Blue and pink for a baby shower, multicoloured for a birthday, black and orange for halloween- the possibilities are endless! (10 more pom-pom crafts, here!)

Bottom Left: Can you imagine cruisin’ around on this beautiful shiny thing!? It’s almost too pretty to ride. Almost.

Bottom Right: This photo was titled Weirdo Wonderland. I like that. There is no better feeling than meeting someone who totally matches your level of weird. The frilly-pink-floral-ness of the Weirdos contrasting against the cold concrete is so pleasing for my eyeballs.

PS- What an October. This month I will be published four times,
twice for the first time in new publications! I’m proud and tired and nervous and excited.
Last night I realized I was featured on Ban.do‘s blog and nearly had a hot
flash over it (I’m obsessed with Jen Gotch– the founder).
A weekend giggle for ya here, and a really really great reminder here.

Happy Saturday! xo

Uno October

octobeFotor093020503“There are moments I know I will long for even as I live them.” -Judith Katzir

Happy October! We are officially in the month of costume planning. I’ve got yellow body paint and a blue wig on my shopping list.. any guesses which costume I’m dreaming up?!

Top Left: Tim took me to the local pumpkin patch here in Saskatoon on Saturday and we had the best time picking out juuust the right pumpkins while drinking Baileys and coffee. He chose a very cute little orange one, while I went for this lumpy peach coloured one- isn’t it cool? Tim said it reminded him of THIS… hahaha 8O.

Top Right: If by nothing else, I hope your Hump Day is brightened by these Grumpy Cat nippies.

Bottom Left: As mentioned, I’m in Saskatoon visiting Tim. I took the bus here rather than driving, which allowed me to devote six solid hours to knitting. I nearly screamed with excitement when I finished my very first scarf! Up next: another scarf in forest green and a big grey reading blanket. “Knitting is a cool hobby,” I said earlier this week. I almost believe myself.

Bottom Right: Ban.do is on my Top Five Most Fun Places To Work list. One of their coworkers got engaged, so naturally they celebrated with donuts and googley eyes. If you need me, I’ll be obsessively forwarding over 36 copies of my resume.

Hoping my 22nd October is my greatest October, and yours too. xo!

Fridays Inspo

“Everything will be different, but also exactly the same.”succesFotor082291456

I got butterflies in my stomach when I read this post, written exactly a year ago by a 21 year old me. It’s a bit of an indescribable feeling, but the best way I can put it is that I felt sad for my old self. For being scared and unsure and nervous about everything the upcoming year would hold for her. In a sense I wish I could have protected her a little and given her something definite to hold on to- “you WILL get through college”, “your relationship WILL survive the year of distance” “baby meal WILL remember you” (haha). As I sit here drinking coffee I realized I have become fairly accustomed to dealing with the closing of chapters- nothing has stayed constant for more than 4 months at a time for the last couple years. I get wildly attached to everything, so it’s hard for me to leave my internship at the Edmonton Woman today with no solid idea of where I’m going next. Today is also the last day my sister will share my last name, as she is becoming a WIFE tomorrow! And after that I am off to Kelowna for a week of sun and boating and giggling. I look so forward to catching up when I’m back. Until then, here are four pictures inspiring me today!

Top Left: If I could describe my idea of success in one photo, I think it would be this one.

Top Right: I’ve been told on more than one occasion, typically in a bit of a condescending tone, “Wow, you really love yourself hey”  ….Well, yep. I do. Not in the way where I want to post 14 #selfies a week or brag about all the cool things I’m doing, but in the way that I feel coworkers who don’t smile back are missing out on getting to know me, and that my jokes are truly some of the funniest I’ve heard. At a fairly low and newly single point in my life a while back, my confidence was at an all time high and I can faintly recall telling people “There is no one I like as much as I like myself“. Eyebrows were raised- but, isn’t that how it should be? Why are you the way you are if you don’t love it? Since falling in love I’ve leveled out a bit and can’t see myself saying something that extreme, but the self-loving mindset remains intact.

Bottom Left: After not seeing Tim for two weeks he made it back home around midnight last night. I was asleep, but when he crawled in next to me I reached out and touched his head, which to my surprise had a fresh HAIRCUT! It totally threw me for a second (his hair was SO long before- now it’s short and pokey!) so I forced my self to wake up a little more and ensure I wasn’t cuddling a burglar. Update: I wasn’t. Second update: This photo is nearly irrelevant to my little story, but isn’t it great?

Bottom Right: This confetti egg serves as a reminder that absolutely anything can be made a teeny bit more wonderful.

PS- I’m loving this song big time right now.
Have such a great Friday, and a happy end to your August. xo!